Hey moms! I know you are out there, reading, hiding in the bathroom from your kids, scrolling through social media. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I know how important those “bathroom breaks” are. Oh, and those “errands” where you just “drop by Target”…you know you walked around Target for an hour…blissfully alone sipping your coffee while you bought one thing and looked at hundreds (one thing…sure, that’s what we will tell ourselves). You are not alone! We all take those moments to sneak a chocolate bar in the bathroom where no one can ask for a “bite”. It’s necessary for our sanity. Does that sound extreme? It kind of does and yet, remembering my stay-at-home mom moments…and my working mom moments and working from home…ok every day. EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME. I’m gonna go cray cray if I don’t have a few moments to myself. Moments where I’m not navigating who wants to sit where and who touched who. Who wants a snack (8 times a day) or needs me to get water or clean this or monitor that…oy. Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”
You chose this life
Someone reading this is thinking “well, you chose to have kids, that’s what its like being a mom”. I’ve heard those people talk and sometimes I read stuff like this and chuckle because that IS what it’s like being a mom. It’s no privacy, no quiet, nothing clean and no nice things and yet the wealth of love and joy that I get from being a mom outweighs all of those things and brings joy even in the midst of the chaos where I may be at risk for losing my mind. Yet I still need a moment to breathe sometimes. Being a mom and LOVING being a mom doesn’t meant that I don’t need to take a moment for myself, that sometimes it’s just too much. John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
That being said we don’t need to lose our minds. Because all us moms know that it is that tough being on call 24/7, all you have to do is reach out to another mom and tell them “Girl, I’m going crazy, wanna grab coffee?” Play dates…where the kids go play and the mom’s sit there and talk about all the things are absolutely necessary. I had a friend when the kids were smaller that I could say “I need help with my kitchen!” She would bring her kids and they would play while we cleaned the kitchen together and had a good time doing it. It broke the task down, took away the monotony and gave us a chance to fellowship. Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
My mom would go to Bible studies EVERY Tuesday morning. Us kids would go to the childcare and when we got older, we would help with the smaller kids (we were homeschooled). For us it was just fun; crafts, Bible stories, snacks, and other kids. Sometimes afterwards the leaders would go get lunch and we’d get to eat lunch out with our mom and other cool ladies. I didn’t understand how vital that must have been for my mom’s sanity, especially with us all 5 together 24/7. She found people who knew what life was like for her in that season, she also got to encourage newer mom’s and look at the older women who’d been through this season and see an end to her current season and the beginning of another. My mom taking time for her self-care set an example for us that I may not have understood then, but I do now and if you take time for yourself you can show your children how they can selfcare when they are older too.
Gather your tribe
God did not design for us to do life alone! He meant for us to come along side one another and support each other in all stages of life, not just the easy and fun stages. 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”
Life isn’t easy, raising little people isn’t easy, walking the path of righteousness alone or with others isn’t easy and God didn’t promise that any of it would be, in fact, He promised it would be difficult but that He would be there, and you would never be alone in your own strength.
When to get help
Learning to recognize who you can ask for help and when to do so can be a challenging thing. But find your people, your tribe and surround yourself with those who are ready to walk beside you as you go through the crazy moments at home. And while I may have addressed ladies in the beginning of my blog I know that there a lot of stay at home dad’s out there too. I recognize that you may also be going a little bonkers with the kids. It takes a special kind of person to dedicate their time to making sure our children grow up to be decent human beings.
Parenting is not easy
Whether you are a mom or dad, working or a stay-at-home parent, find your tribe and surround yourself with people who can be there and help you when you are feeling the stressors of everything that comes with being a parent. Make the time to spend time with those people who are living life with you. MAKE the time to spend an evening doing something you enjoy. Remember, for just a moment, who you are outside of a mom or dad. There were years where I didn’t even remember what my hobbies where because all I’d done for years was work, kids, and sleep and do it all over again day in and day out, I lost myself. Slowly, with support of my love I remembered things that made me feel like me again. Photography, graphic design, getting my hair done and my nails too. Little insignificant things? No, for me they helped me be more than mom. Remembering that I was MORE than just a mom helped me refresh and be a BETTER mom. We all have those things, find something, and spend some time with or without the kids just doing something you enjoy. Taking time to care for yourself makes it that much easier to listen to your 3 year old say “mom mom mom” a hundred times…when all they want to do is say “I love you” when you respond.
Written by Heather Wiser